The 2011 Baftas, BBC One: The Twitter Review

@Wossy seems to have been cast as second baddie in #PiratesduCaribbean 4

This intro is entirely about namechecking the films so they can cut away to the US stars who've jetted in from #Tinseltown

Lame string of Little Fockers jokes.

These clips montages always make films look like the complete Shakespeare. Then you go and see them...

@Wossy seems to have been cast as second baddie in #PiratesduCaribbean 4

This intro is entirely about namechecking the films so they can cut away to the US stars who've jetted in from #Tinseltown

Lame string of Little Fockers jokes.

These clips montages always make films look like the complete Shakespeare. Then you go and see them...

First award for Original Music. To be presented by #Macca. "Live and Let Die" plays him on. Look, no thumbs.

Macca not v good at jokes. Suspect How To Train Your Dragon won't win this.

That's because Alexandre Desplat has won for #TheKingsSpeech. Award No 1.

Special FX. Jennifer Lawrence has scrubbed up a bit since Winter's Bone. Can't say the same for Jesse Eisenberg. They're presenting.

It's between Inception, Harry Potter, Black Swan and King's Speech for best FX. And the winner is...

Inception. I was joking about King's Speech.

Four blokes. Pleasingly English accents from the spokesman. They've all got receding hairlines.

Presumably from scratching their heads working out the plot.

Best Supporting Actress award presented by James McAvoy. Category error alert! Lesley Manville was the lead in Another Year.

HBC a shoo-in even though Lesley M was top notch (and a leading role). Wonder how they decide who's supporting...

HBC! Award No 2 for #TheKingsSpeech. This speech is ridiculously long.

All a bit yuk. She's got logorrhea. If that's how you spell it. At the #Oscars they'd have her off within seconds

Here comes K Spacey. Special Achievement award for British Beginner/Rising Talent. Somehow don't think we'll see Banksy collecting in person.

Chris Morris that shy retiring film debutant wins for #FourLions. He sends his cast to collect.

Outstanding British Film makes @EmWatson very proud to be British. Which is nice. If it's not #TheKingsSpeech one will eat one's hat.

Award No 3 for #TheKingsSpeech. Mike Leigh looks thrilled to bits. Five mostly British moviemakers give thanks to the #Weinsteins.

Best Supporting Actor to be presented by @JessicaAlba. Not much speech from her. And not much clothing to speak of.

Go on, give it to dear old Pete Postlethwaite RIP. Geoffrey Rush is not in the building, this much we know.

But that doesn't stop them giving him the gong. Award no 4 for #TheKingsSpeech. He's onstage in NYC. No mates around to collect it.

Best Original Screenplay: Rosamund Pike cocking it up royally. She nearly reads out the results before announcing the nominees. @Wossy intervenes.

David Seidler: "For a stutterer, a stammerer, to be heard is a wonderful thing. Thank you." Rare outburst of dignity.

Stephen Fry to present award for Outstanding British Contribution in Cinema. He's said British x12.

Long encomium to #HarryPotter without use of autocue (note to R Pike: rehearse).

Here come #JKRowling, #DavidHeyman, @TheRupertGrint and @EmWatson. Heyman starts talking then the directors come up midspeech. Shambles!

"They weren't any quicker directing either," says Heyman. 6000 people employed on each film. And 6000 to thank it would seem...

JKR gives thanks to Heyman. How right she was to trust him etc. Bet she didn't think that after the first two cocked up by Chris Columbus.

Nicholas Hoult and someone looking overdone to present Best Animation. Missed the caption. [Advised by @fionalaird it's Neve Campbell]

How To Train Your Dragon won't be winning this one either. #ToyStory3 spanks the oppo.

Tom Ford and Eva Green to present Emerging Talent gong voted for by you, Mr and Ms J Public.

Tom Hardy wins but he's hardly a newcomer and guess what he's not here either. Eva Green is "sure he'll be very honoured to get the award".

Obit interlude. John Barry, Tony Curtis, Leslie Nielsen, Maria Schneider, Dennis Hopper, Peter Yates, Ingrid Pitt, Norman Wisdom...

Susannah York, Ronald Neame, Dino De Laurentiis, Claude Chabrol. And Pete Postlethwaite ends the tribute. Apologies for leaving some out...

Julianne Moore to present best adapted screenplay. V polished. Ms Pike, look and learn.

#TheSocialNetwork wins an award. Aaron Sorking collects. While we're on topic, check this out.

When I say Sorking I mean Sorkin. Been typing King too often for obv reasons

Tilda Swinton presents Best Director. "Good evening," she says, "tonight in English in an English accent." What the dickens can she mean?

David Fincher wins for #TheSocialNetwork. Who the hell did Tom Hooper piss off? A Garfield and J Eisenberg collect. They look so sweet.

Leading Actress to be presented by Gerard Butler. Best they could do? Pretends to cock it up. Mild amusement ripples round @RoyalOperaHouse.

This is Natalie Portman's statuette. Typed it in advance. Only knew that cos #TheKingsSpeech not nommed in this category. Natalie is unable etc etc. Embarrassing no of no shows tonight...

Ms Portman about to drop so can’t get on the plane. Fair dos.

And Colin Firth hasn’t won Best Actor!

Yet...

Oh, he has now. How long has he been writing #TheKingsSpeech speech we are about to hear?

Slightly opaque in his elegance. Thanks be to his voice coach Neil Swain. That man deserves an award. Thanks Tom Ford too. Odd...?

Samuel L Jackson to present Best Film. #TheKingsSpeech award no 7. Unless I've miscounted. Easily done. A lot of love up there. And people.

"On a personal note I want to thank the British public for going to see this film." A personal pleasure. You're welcome.

Tom Hooper: "We're completely thrilled." But not on a personal level: no award for him tonight.

BAFTA Fellowship to be presented by Tim Burton. Fingers crossed he won't go on as long as his missus.

This is an award for Christopher Lee, richly deserved for scaring the bejesus out of many a cowering generation.

Sir Christopher Lee. I do beg his pardon. Arise, Bafta audience. He's 88. "I can't wait to hear what I've got to say," he quotes.

The audience not looking exceptionally enthusiastic. They're all too young. Or too American. @Wossy signing off.

Conclusion. All down on bended knee to #TheKingsSpeech, incl the other nominees. A royal procession.

Prediction: they need to sharpen up considerably or there'll be even fewer Hollywood stars next year. A second-rate effort all round.

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