How To Survive Your Mother, King's Head Theatre review - mummy issues drive autobiographical dramedy

Lots of heartache, but a strange void where the heart of the play should be

share this article

Howard Webb, John Wark and Peter Clements in How To Survive Your Mother - You're okay love, but my pulse is racing
Charles Flint

It is unsurprising to learn in the post-show Q&A that each audience receives Jonathan Maitland’s new play based on his 2006 memoir differently. My house laughed a lot (me especially) but some see the tragic overwhelming the comic, and the laughs dry up. When it comes to humour, as is the case with mothers, it’s each to their own.

It’s an unusual production right from the off when the playwright, who is also a main character, is also acting himself too – but not entirely, as there’s a pre-teen and post-teen version of him too, played by different actors. Got all that? When you add his presence to the fact that we know it’s not "a" Jonathan Maitland, but "the" Jonathan Maitland, TV and radio journalist and award-winning dramatist, and then slot in the final piece of the jigsaw, the play’s title, I confess I was primed for laughs not tears. Such a high-flying career doesn’t guarantee a happy life, but I think I’d be prepared to take my chances from there.

The tension between these poles at either end of the moral thrust of the story never really resolves. For a man who chucked in therapy after one session, adapting your own memoir into an autobiographical play that revives your younger selves, your mother, your father and your stepfather, sure looks like it has a therapeutic dimension. And, crucially, this isn’t a smartarsey piece of metatheatrical flummery translated from the original Italian, with us pinned as the marks for the con: we’re assured it’s true. Well, true enough, and I believe him.

The dominant character in the play, in Maitland’s psyche over the years in question (and, some might suspect, in the years afterwards too) is his mother, Bru, a woman who invents backstories, names, personalities and whatever else is handy to suit circumstances as they arise. A charismatic, flirty (I’m being euphemistic here, not an adjective she ever bothered with) narcissistic force of nature who loved her son more than anything else in the world – except herself. She was an outrageous, entitled, hardworking, duplicitous, mendacious, machiavellian woman who could perform the role of a mother, but not feel it. Jonathan, sent away to boarding school at three, cruel even by the standards of the aspirant English lower middle class, felt that rejection sharply – and obviously still does, because those boys always do. 

Catching Bru’s lightning in a bottle is quite the task for an actress and Emma Davies (pictured above with Peter Clements) gets about as close as one could to so singular a personality. She struts about, bats eyelashes at simple-minded blokes too dazzled to see her manipulation of their personalities, makes bad choices in men (both husbands are washouts) and never meets an emotional lever she won’t press down on to open a hole in another’s resolve. Davies is excellent in being both egregious and attractive not just consecutively, but concurrently. She was fantastic company, a firecracker in humdrum North Cheam, where she opened a gay hotel, because, well, why wouldn’t she? Jeez, it must be nice to walk away from time to time though, not that such a luxury was afforded to her son.

Peter Clements, John Wark and Stephen Ventura (with Brodie Edwards and Howard Webb sharing the young Maitland role) play all the other parts, most easily recognisable types, from the officious council inspector seen off with an envelope of cash, to the bobbies hypnotised by Bru’s showmanship when called out to quieten her disco (in Cheam, I remind you) to the teacher waiting for a handshake and expression of gratitude after administering corporal punishment. There’s a dodgy lawyer too, as there usually is.

It’s all done very well and director, Oliver Dawe, keeps the show rollicking along through its 90 minutes, but there’s still something missing. Like Meursault in Camus’ The Outsider, the son is strangely indifferent to the death of the mother (no judginess from me on that, since I was too) which is indicative of an ambivalence, a partial vacuum at the centre of the play. Lacking a cathartic moment – that boarding school culture runs deep - this mother-son relationship feels stuck, never to be fixed. There are disagreements between them, but no proper arguments; reconciliations, but no lessons learned; love expressed, but a unbreachable distance maintained. 

Or, maybe, we’re so conditioned to a Sinead O’Connorish tear as an absolute minimum in the evolution of such dysfunctional relationships that "muddling through", via a few half-hearted tears into the pillow sure, just isn’t enough. But, usually, it is, or was. So maybe that’s the moral of the story after all.       

Add comment

The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly.
Name that you would like to appear as the author of the comment
We’re assured it’s true. Well, true enough, and I believe him

rating

3

explore topics

share this article

Help secure the future of arts journalism

In this era of algorithmic recommendation, opaquely sponsored content and AI slop, theartsdesk’s mission to preserve real journalistic and critical values has never been more important.

If you like what you see here, please join us 
in this mission.

Subscribing to the site will help us in our coming 
redesign and expansion.


If you do this before the 31st August this will be at our guaranteed founder’s rate: 
your subs will never increase again.

Subscribe now for £5 per month. 
or yearly for just £40.

Or if you simply want to support us with a one-off donation, you can do so here.

more theatre

New play about love and loneliness in London has terrific gender and genre fluidity
Not everything works but, with this unbreakable musical, it doesn't need to
Simon Stone's latest reversioning of a classic is a muddled misfire
Lots of innovative ideas, but we need to hear the line readings clearly
Eurovision star Sam Ryder is made for the title role, while Drew McOnie’s choreography makes us feel the delirium
Chloë Moss’s new drama is a nerve-fraying example of telephonic tension
Carrie Cracknell’s splendid revival of Stoppard’s masterwork transfers with its magic intact
Transatlantic tensions are diffused through alcohol, sex, and the etiquette of hot dogs
New play about domestic abuse adopts a radical form that works - up to a point
Adrian Lester’s spiky, swaggering hero is the apex predator in this linguistic ecosystem