As a disillusioned ex-admirer – like so many – it’s with a degree of dread that I approach Morrissey’s 14th solo album (the first for six years) not least because of the positively Kafkaesque struggle to actually hear it. But an open mind is necessary.
What if there were no axe to grind? What if the hopeless search for love had been answered? What if there were no conspiracy theories? Why, then, there would be no new album (and – let’s face it – we’re all thigh-high in conspiracy theories right now). So we must buckle up and hear what the once-great man has to opine. The hilarious album cover might signal a return to humour, mightn’t it?
Nope. He’s still unloveable, persecuted and about to die. He was ‘born for bad news’ and is "trapped by censorship". Having said that, musically this album is eclectic, which is no bad thing. Boz Boorer’s gone, and with him some of the magic, but there's still excellent musicianship afoot. The title track is subtly intriguing. Online fans are in a lather about whether it’s about Colette, Wilde or Bardot. Think garrets, poets, graves, Paris – and disguise. Nice production. I won't dignify the alt-right nonsense of "Notre Dame".
Next comes his cover of Roxy Music’s "Amazona", which is a huge improvement on the mannered original (and was recently No.2 on the iTunes chart, although I’ve not heard a peep of it on the radio). "Headache’ has some of the charm and vitriol of yesteryear: the line ‘man born of woman has but a short time to live and it’s still too long,’ made me splutter. It’s reminiscent of the gallows humour of "Girlfriend in a Coma". "I don’t like you," he then continues, ad nauseum. This is what he excels in.
"Zoom Zoom the Little Boy" is a jaunty little number with an earwormy riff (and a nursery rhyme-esque message about saving the animals). It’s proper tuneful. "Boulevard" is high camp about low times – "walking as if both legs were broken, I’m not joking". Another gem: "they walk all over you, they do. I’ve seen it – boulevard". "Kerching, Kerching" has shades of "William it Was Really Nothing" – a controlling woman is berated.
And so it continues, much as you'd expect. Morrissey’s view is as jaundiced as ever but there are still moments that remind us of the splendid old days ("Suedehead", "Playboys", "Ignore Me") and the remarkable slightly closer days ("Istanbul", "Spent the Day in Bed"). If you can forgive his questionable opinions (defending Weinstein and Spacey is too much for me, never mind the Farage fawning), it’s worth your time. He recently packed out the O2, much to the Guardian's disapproval, so the appetitie is clearly still there. But for many of us, academic and gay rights activist Simon Watney has it bang on the nose: "I can't think of a similar tale of such immensely self-harming folly on the part of a great artist.!
Below: Listen to Morrissey's cover of Roxy Music's "Amazona"

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