Is this the near-future? The premise of Ann Droid is that in place of our over-stretched social services, before long we may find ourselves being helped out around the home by robot assistants. This is what happens to our protagonist Sue (Sue Johnston), devastated by the death of her husband Dave two years earlier and fearful of growing progressively older and lonelier. She also suffers from low blood pressure and is liable to collapse without warning.
It’s her son Michael (Paul Ready, pictured below with Johnston) who acquires a second-hand – or, if you will, “pre-loved” – droid at a bargain price (because that’s the kind of cheapskate guy he is). He’s aghast at the prospect of having to pay the exorbitant salary of a live-in human carer, so the droid is a useful compromise, whether his mother likes it or not. She doesn’t, and the delivery of the synthetic human shrouded in bubble-wrap initially fills Sue with horror. The official technical designation of the ‘bot is AnnDroid Z58/100 Basic Eldercare Robot, and her name is Linda.
Linda is played by Diane Morgan (who’s also the screenwriter, in cahoots with Sarah Kendall) with a smartly-observed mixture of robotic blankness, accompanied by jerky and staccato body movements and an unflinching stare. She has a voice to match, speaking in a strident monotone from which the usual tics and nuances of human conversation have been methodically expunged. She never says “er”, “y’know” or “like”, and until you get used to her she sounds rather intimidating.
However, though she is merely a soulless assembly of circuitry and synthetic body parts, it gradually begins to seem that, mysteriously, she does have insights and emotions after all. A turning point is when an unhappy Sue has decided to have Linda sent back to her suppliers, but changes her mind when she finds that Linda has planted flowers in memory of her husband in the front garden.
As well as tracking Sue and Linda’s domestic relationship, Ann Droid also features a supporting cast of eccentric and comical characters. Kathryn Hunter is determinedly deadpan as Sue’s friend Eileen, who is determined to slug it out with advancing mortality as long as she has breath in her body. Sue asks her if she’s got time for a cup of tea. “Course I got time,” Eileen retorts.”I’m 81 and all my friends are dead.”
The themes of death and fear of getting old and in the way hover balefully over the show. There’s a suddenly touching scene when Sue and friends, including the exceedingly venerable Tom (David Hargreaves, pictured above with Johnston and Kathryn Hunter), go down to the beach for an ad-hoc memorial service for Tom’s friend Harry. When Eileen asks Tom if he’d like to say a few words, the best he can come up with is that Harry was five foot 10 and loved Wet Wet Wet, but Linda saves the day by reciting Elizabeth Frye’s “Do Not Stand at my Grave and Weep”, while Mahler’s Adagietto plays on the soundtrack.
Light relief is supplied by Sue's snobby, Margo Leadbetter-ish neighbour Phyllis (Margot Leicester) and her robot-fancying husband Jeffrey (Rupert Vansittart), and by the saga of Michael and his wife Renee (Andrea Valls). Michael is a gormless three-time loser who appears to have a handful of gravel for brains, but he makes a very serviceable slapstick fall-guy. He’s being humiliated by Renee, who’s having an affair with ghastly super-jock ju-jitsu instructor Professor Chris (Maximilian Osinski). Michael also works at a music shop called Off the Scale, but suffers the mortification of being replaced by a smarmy and patronising droid called Keith, who plays 26 musical instruments expertly.
Ann Droid is funny, painful and shrewdly observed. A second series surely looms.
- Ann Droid on Fridays on BBC One at 9.30pm. All episodes available on BBC iPlayer
- More TV on theartsdesk
