Mark Simmons, Touring review - maestro of the one-liner

Gag-heavy hour

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Mark Simmons has a joke in his set that takes almost the entire show to play out
Steve Ullathorne

Mark Simmons is, in the nicest possible way, an old-fashioned comic, in that he tells jokes. Puns, one-liners, slow-burners, delayed payoffs as well as visual and physical gags, he’s got them all, lots of them, and they’re all rather good.

His craftsmanship has been recognised by colleagues and audiences alike; he  was voted UK comics’ comic in 2022 and in 2024 won Dave’s best joke of the Edinburgh Fringe for "I was going to sail around the globe in the worlds smallest ship, but I bottled it.” Now he’s on his debut UK tour, which I saw at Winchester Theatre Royal.

As he comes on stage dressed in a dinner suit for Jest to Impress, we see a flipchart with “Set List” written on it, and he proceeds to work down the six headings below. That’s a straightforward promise of what’s to come, you might think, but Simmons adds some smart sleights of hand with the entries to deliver yet more jokes within jokes.

As you might expect with a one-liner comic, Simmons has a high gag count, but there are also a few narrative arcs (of sorts) running through the hour-long show - but they are usually set-ups for more funny lines. For instance, he mentions a girlfriend in one joke and then tells us she doesn’t exist in another, all in the service of a decent pay-off.

We know the kind of level he’s at from the start, when he says: “My sister celebrated her 20th wedding anniversary.” Beat. “That’s a lot of marriages…” Delivered deadpan or with a knowing look at the audience, his gags are well crafted and expertly timed.

He can make a joke on seemingly anything - there’s even a bit of sauce, but nothing to shock you. And nothing deep or serious here; this is a set just for laughs.

Simmons, who is quiet and self-effacing, throws in some good-natured crowd work, and there’s also a long-form gag involving his outfit that takes almost the whole show to play out. It’s a pleasant and laugh-heavy hour.

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We know the kind of level he’s at from the start

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